Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize