Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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