Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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