i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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