So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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