Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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