I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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