god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
