I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
