apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
