i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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