i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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