I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
