The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
