I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
