i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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