I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Can I color on your dick again?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
