As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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