After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
