I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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