people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
And then he peed in my hair
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