just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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