Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
