I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
