Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
