i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
