I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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