therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
