People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
