pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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