Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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