idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
