just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
