I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize