bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I AM VODKA MAN
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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