Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
