Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
