? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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