Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
