I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
