Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize