that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
