I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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