He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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