haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
