haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
