I smell stomach acid.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just found a bag of teeth...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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