the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
