I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
