i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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