I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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