I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
