well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
