Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
