I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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