if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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