He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
