i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
