i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize