i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
