how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There are leaves in my underwear?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
