Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
