so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
